Dear Special Needs Mama, I see you.
I see you prepping for that IEP meeting where you will be met with resistance to your requests and hear all about the things your child cannot do.
I see you panicking about another unknown school year knowing darn well your child cannot do another second of virtual learning.
I see you at the park filled with anxiety waiting for your child to bolt the other way.
I see you in the grocery store hurrying along to avoid the impending meltdown from your child in the cart.
I see you crying on your husband’s shoulder at night wondering if your child will ever speak.
I see you holding your head high and pretending like it’s all okay.
I know you are dying inside but you have to stay strong for that little one because without you the world will swallow him up.
I see you on the phone for hours trying to figure out why your health insurance once again denied your claims for the therapies your child cannot live without.
I see you walking into yet another doctor’s appointment searching for answers.
I see you sitting at the kitchen table surrounded by medical bills that you still don’t know if you can pay.
I see your face when another mom says, “I don’t know how you do it.” You politely smile but on the inside, you want to scream, “I was never given a choice!”
I see you sitting and thinking about all the years you spent in college and graduate school.
I see the burning desire to use your degrees but either you or your spouse need to stay home to ensure your child receives all the services he needs.
I see you worrying about the future wondering if your child will be accepted by his peers, go to college, obtain a career, and live on his own.
I see the pain in your eyes as you scroll through social media to see that your family was once again not invited to an event because your child has special needs.
I see you at the pharmacy picking up your child’s anxiety medication wondering how the heck you got to this point.
I see it, mama, I see all of it.
I wish I could tell you it was all going to be okay in the end but I cannot tell the future. What I can tell you is that all your effort does not go unnoticed and your child will undeniably be better for it.
I see you. I hear you. I am you.