Being REAL. Being YOURSELF.
It is SO hard to do.
It has taken me years to get to where I am now. I have always been a people pleaser. I was a ‘YES” person. I would drop anything I was doing to help someone or do something that they needed. It didn’t matter who the person was. I needed to do it ALL. I didn’t know how to say no.
At one point a couple of years ago, I was working 2 full-time jobs along with having a family. I was barely sleeping. I was working out twice a day. I wasn’t eating right. I was EXHAUSTED. People would say “Wow, you are in such good shape.” Or “How do you balance it all??” I would say, “Oh, everything I do just makes me happy so it is easy!” But I was completely done, both mentally and physically. I missed my daughter. I missed my friends and family. My thyroid was 4 times the size it should be. I had bald patches all over my head from hair loss and alopecia. I developed multiple auto-immune disorders. People thought my life was PERFECT. And that was so far from the truth.
The breaking point.
When I hit my lowest point, I had a friend that is a life coach randomly message me about doing a coaching session with her. God has an AMAZING way of showing up at just the right time. And I am so thankful. We talked for over an hour via Zoom and I cried for most of that call. She asked me to write down everything that makes me happy. I worked on that list over the next week. At the top of that list were my daughter, family, friends, and time to myself. It was then that I knew I had to make some big changes.
Do things that bring you JOY.
I quit one of my jobs that was completely draining me. I made time with my daughter my top priority. Quality time. I learned to turn my phone off and truly be in the moment with her. I started scheduling time with friends. And the same for time with my family. I cut back on working out to 3 days a week. I get a manicure every few weeks. I get my hair done every couple of months. I journal and write down what I am thankful for. I make more time for myself. I do things that I know will fulfill me and bring me happiness.
I am very open about my struggles now. I am great at saying no. I make sure my nights are always open for my daughter. I have set boundaries in every aspect of my life and it feels so good! It was necessary.
Be your true, authentic self. And don’t apologize for it! I am a very positive, optimistic person. I still have bad days. But looking at the good in everyday life is much more enjoyable than focusing on the negative. I have had many people talk about me. They say that I am too positive, too happy, or too bubbly. Those aren’t my people. My true friends and family love me for me.
If I am mad at a situation or someone hurts my feelings, I talk about it with the person directly. If I am feeling overwhelmed, I make the changes to not feel like that. I cut people out of my life that were negative and sucking the energy out of me. Life is too short.
You have only one life to live. I only do things now that bring me TRUE happiness.
It’s ok to have bad days. We all have struggles and it’s a beautiful thing to be real in a world where everyone tries to be perfect. No one is perfect. Be weird. Be silly. Be crazy. Cry when you need to. Laugh uncontrollably. Be confident. Be incredible. Don’t water yourself down for others. Be YOU.
Is life still insane? Absolutely! Am I still busy? Of course. But I have become smarter about life and not killing myself daily. And I live my life to the fullest.