Every year as we are getting to the end of the Holiday season, the new year is knocking at the door. A new year brings so many emotions. Some see it as a fresh start. An opportunity to change behaviors, create new routines, or ditch those bad habits. This year, maybe more than others in the past, more and more people are looking for hopeful changes to 2021.
I have never really been big on resolutions. I tend to have some issues keeping them, so it is sometimes easier to not commit to one specific resolution for the upcoming year. The end of the year is a time for reflection, and I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted my 2021 to look like and here is what I came up with.
I only have one goal for 2021.. TO CUT MYSELF MORE SLACK AND GIVE MYSELF GRACE.
I don’t know about you other mamas out there but I am very critical of myself. As a first-time mom to a now toddler and a bonus mom to the best twins ever, I am constantly second guessing myself and wondering if I am doing things right. This last 7 months has been especially tough with my husband deployed overseas. Having another parent around, especially one who has done this all before, is extremely helpful. It is another person to bounce your ideas off of, ask questions, and yes… tell you when you are being insane. I was on my own a lot this year. I have a FABULOUS support system of friends and family but its not the same as having your spouse around.
The one thing I do not do enough is cut myself any slack. I found myself saying things like “I should have known he was just overtired” or “How did I not know he was cutting that tooth”. Well guess what? He cannot speak in full sentences yet so the truth is I really could not have known that for sure.
BEING A GOOD MOM IS NOT ABOUT KNOWING ALL OF THE RIGHT ANSWERS ALL OF THE TIME.
This year I am focusing more on all of the ways I am a pretty amazing mom. I am waking up every morning and thinking of one good thing I did the day before. I am focusing more on the positive and trying to stop seeing the bad in things. 2020 was a real CHALLENGE for all of us. Maybe in different ways, but a challenge for sure. It was a year that brought homeschooling to moms that did not choose that. It brought childcare issues where they never existed before. It brought tough conversations with kids that could not fully comprehend what was happening in the world around them.
Here is the thing…. WE DID IT! We got our kids through school, we managed working from home when we needed to, and we kept our children happy and protected. What we saw was often very different than what our kiddos saw. When I saw laundry that had to be washed again because it sat in the washer a little too long, my son saw as his mommy reading more books with him rather than switching the clothes. What I saw as a house that was not perfectly spotless, my son saw as an extra long walk at the park. What I saw as an extra pizza night, my son saw as dinner at the table as a family. I was judging and he was loving life. Why am I beating myself up when my son is perfectly happy and healthy?
I AM TRYING TO SEE MYSELF AS MY SON SEES ME.
At the end of the day, I focus too much on second guessing myself and being too critical. I allow grace for everyone else in my life, why can’t I do that for myself? So here we are at the beginning of a new year and that is what I am resolving to do. I am a darn good mama, and my son knows it. I am going to start knowing it too.
New year, new beginnings, new outlook on motherhood. No one has all the answers and anyone who tells you they do, is dead wrong. Be you, mama. YOU ARE AMAZING. Join me in 2021 by recognizing how truly amazing you are.
Cheers to GRACE, mama!