Take the time-Mom Friendships


You might look at this picture as just a plant; but to me it symbolizes so much more than that. It’s the plant that I was given from my sweet grandma’s funeral 30 months ago, it’s one of the only plants I’ve truly ever been able to keep alive; because I routinely and almost on a schedule water this plant and it’s teaching me a life lesson I so needed to learn. Yep, I said it, I’m learning from a plant.

While I was watering this plant I began to think, why do we as people add so much “water” to try to take care of others and forget to take care of ourselves? Do you find yourself dropping your needs to give more of yourself away before taking care of you and then it hits you and you’re the one who now needs those people to help you or be there for you; but you’re not sure where they’re at?

As moms, wives & and friends we are naturally created to be givers. We give love, grace, patience, advice and time; but we too need love, grace, time to ourselves, advice and patience. We set ourselves up each time we give of ourselves but we don’t take care of ourselves, we just want to be a good person. We need good friends that give back to us like we give to them, it may not always be 50/50 but rather a your here when they need and they’ll be there when you need.

Let’s not just focus on being kind, loving and helpful to others, I’m talking about adult relationships that you invest in so much that it just drains you and you end up feeling like you need filled up but there’s no one to fill you up?!?

If you answered yes you’re not alone. Many times when we are the friend giving advice or help our friends can over rely on us and then when we are not “needed” anymore it can leave us feeling empty, used and betrayed. To avoid this issue within our friendships, we need to set boundaries or our hearts will continue being hurt. Setting boundaries is not a bad thing, it protects us and our friendship. We need to find a balance, of course we want to be there for our friends when they need us but it can’t get to a point where it’s over dependent. Be open with your friend, explain to them that you just don’t feel that you’re conversations are circling and maybe turn it on them to come up with a solution instead of always coming to you seeking an answer or a reaction. You investing so much time in this one friend can create a divide between you and other friends or you and this friend eventually when they don’t like your advice.

How would you define friendship? How would you define the type of friend you are? What qualities do you look for in a friend? Do you as an adult make friends easily? Many of us as mommas find it hard to balance the life of mom, wife and friend that we often forget we need to add self in their as well.

Adult friendships can be so hard, we are different than when we were younger, we have experienced life, we are older, and we tend to give advice off of those experiences. We want to be there for those friends but there’s a limit and we need to be aware of those limits. To start we need to first take care of us to be there for others.


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