This year is the year I have been dreading since the day you were born. I knew time would fly, but man did it fly!

Kindergarten.

I can’t believe you’re about to start Kindergarten.

For the past 5.5 years I have literally tried to find every option I could out of this. I have looked into private half-day options, I have tried to convince you to stop growing, and I have prayed that God would just slow time down. Well, time has gone faster than I could have ever imagined, and here we are…

Kindergarten.

And now we aren’t just facing Kindergarten, but we are facing something nobody ever could have predicted.

A global pandemic.

Most parts of the world have shut down in the past few months, and now schools around the nation are starting to shell out their plans for the new school year, and I just don’t like the options.

There seems to be no right choice in the matter, and the school is definitely not to blame for that. There’s really no one to blame. I mean, who has ever gone through something like this before?? This is new territory for everybody, but either way, I just can’t seem to figure out what the “right” this is to do.

Do I send you to school with more restrictions? With the possibility of having to social distance in Kindergarten!? Kindergarten is when you’re supposed to learn how to socialize, not “un-socialize.”

Do I open up your sweet, innocent, naive mind to some of the harsh realities of the world? I know it has to happen eventually, but Kindergarten? And like this? I just can’t picture your tiny little 5 year old self in the front seat of that school bus with a mask on everyday.

So do I keep you home? Home school you, and keep you to myself? Selfishly, this is the option I want to choose. I want you home with me. I want to protect you and keep you close to me for as long as possible. I have dreaded the day Kindergarten would sneak up on us for years, so this sounds like the right option, right?

But then what are you missing out on? What do you lose?

Time spent with friends in school? Cousins in school? Making new friends? Recess? Learning to be independent and speak up for yourself?

Will there be missed opportunities?

I just don’t know.

Where is the “normal school year without a pandemic” option?

Sweet boy, I wish this was an easy decision. I wish this year could just be “normal” for your first year of school, for MY first year of school as parent.

My heart was already breaking thinking about you going to school everyday before any of this global pandemic nonsense made its debut, and now we are faced with this decision.

These are not the questions I thought I would be asking during your first year of school.

I didn’t think I would be asking what the school’s policy would be if a student tested positive for a virus. Or what if my child has a fever and then is better the next day? I didn’t think I’d have to ask whether or not my FIVE year old would have to sit 6 feet away from all of his friends. Will your teacher be allowed to hug you when you’re sad? Give you a high-five when you’ve done something amazing? Will you be allowed to just play?

I didn’t think I would be deciding whether or not you would actually be going to Kindergarten.

Just know, buddy, that your dad and I, we are trying to make the best decision for YOU. We know you will adjust to any situation you are in, but we want what is going to help YOU thrive the most. We know Kindergarten doesn’t define who you are the rest of your life. You will be fine. I will be fine.

We will be fine.

We’ll figure this whole schooling-during-a-global-pandemic thing out, and we will rock it! Whichever way it ends up, home school or “traditional” school, we will figure it out together.

So here’s to the first year of Kindergarten, and the first year of school during a novel-virus outbreak.

Whatever the decision may be, let’s do this.