My best friend is not a mom but I am.
My best friend not being is mom is wonderful.
My best friend may have children one day, and that will be wonderful, too.
I am mom to a crazy toddler and 2 teenagers. Mom friends are important. I don’t really have many so I’m working on that… but I digress.
Mom friends are important, but my best friend is not a mom, and it is absolutely amazing.
Back story – she and I met several years ago at work and connected instantly. We have the same sense of humor, the same taste in pretty much everything, and most of all…. WE ARE DIFFERENT.
Being a stepmom with the twins sometimes means I am not always a part of their friendships and relationships with friends’ parents. That can be hard. I had my son 6 months before Covid hit so that severely limited our outings and play dates and social circle recruiting. Finding mom friends is hard. Being a working mom can make that harder. I cannot go to the weekday library reading times or the mommy and me class at the park on a Tuesday morning.
Not having mom friends is really one of the main reasons I wanted to become a part of Toledo Moms, a chance to really connect with moms like me.
Let’s talk about support systems for a moment. I think we can all agree that they come in many different forms. Spouses, parents, friends, churches, therapists, the list goes on and on. I have always had one hell of a support system. My husband is my rock and my everything. My family (both mine and my in-laws) are essentially heaven sent. Friends has always been the struggle for me. As I mentioned, wanting to grow my circle of mom friends was a main driver in me joining TM. I wanted to build that community but please do not think that my support system has ever been lacking. Maybe just a little bit in your typical “mom friend” category.
My best friend, Amy, has always been my person. She is all the things you would dream of in a best friend. She is supportive, constructively critical, loving, compassionate, and an all-around rock star. I tell her daily how much I adore her. She loves me and always has my back, even when I do not always make it easy. She has been here since day one. Through her moving multiple times to multiple states, through me finding out I was pregnant to me having Mason, to her engagement…. Its her and I. No matter what.
What’s the best thing about Amy…? I mean, what really makes her the best friend? The way she loves my son. She has never missed an event. From Birthdays to Baptisms, Christmases, and Mother’s Day. She always remembers us. When we are lucky enough for her to come visit, she always wants Mason included with us. She never expects that he will not be there. She cares about him genuinely, gives me advice from a non-mom perspective, and tells me all the time that my house looks perfect, and I am doing a good job.
She and I talk about EVERYTHING. Sometimes it is nice to not talk about mom things.
It is nice to chat about work, or current events, or trashy reality TV, books we are reading. I enjoy the fact that we have such a fool, well rounded friendship that is not rooted in kids.
She is in the process of planning her wedding. Getting ready to marry the man of her dreams. I cannot wait to go on that journey with her. She may have kids one day, who knows? I’ll tell you this. If she does, she will be the most amazing mom. She will raise the most fiercely kind and independent children who will be just like her. At that point she will become a “mom friend” but for now, she is better than any mom friend.
People always say that you need MOM FRIENDS and do not get me wrong, I completely agree. Again I will say… that’s why I am here. I also think that it is important to realize that mom friends can look different. They do not have to be moms at all! They can have no kids, they can be married or divorced, male of female. Hell your friend can be a dog… I have one of those too!! LOL
