Hello from a fellow stay at home mama.
Since becoming a mom, I battle my share of loneliness and depression.
I couldn’t understand why I was feeling this way because becoming a mother and wife was something I’d always wanted to accomplish. The question I kept asking was why wasn’t I filled with complete happiness? I finally had the unconditional love I’d been craving.
My family started fairly young and fast.
In the early stages of developing my family, I noticed a disappearance in friends. Because of that, I began to experience a range of emotions. The few friends I was trying to hold on to were all doing different things. I was the only one going through motherhood, so for the first time I could not relate and I had nothing to talk about.
I began to stay in the house more often. Going out to socialize really didn’t seem so important anymore. I put my focus on my family. However, the more I focused on my family alone, the more I became more lost.
I was putting my all into everyone and everything around me and there was nothing left for myself.
You know those days when you’re picking up the laundry left on the bathroom floor, and you take a glance in the mirror. That’s when the questions and thoughts fill your head.
“Where did I go? Who am I anymore? Will I ever get my body back? Does my husband still find me attractive? I want to have fun again. Was I too mean today? Did I yell too much? Are they eating healthy enough? Am I enough? …”
That’s a song many of sing along to, too often and it’s too much to do to ourselves. You have to know that if you are doing the best that you can do. You are doing amazing.
Find some mommy friends.
Loneliness can come with the territory at times, but it doesn’t have to. Let me tell you, from a recovering introvert, it’s not always the easiest to seek out mommy friends. I recently found myself going out of my way to connect with people in hopes of creating a friendship. Playdates are important! They allow for blossoming friendships for your children. In addition, you get to converse with people that understand your life. The Toledo Moms Community Facebook Page is an amazing resource to help surround yourself with like moms!
Find Time To Breathe.
Being a mother is no small feat because there will be days of struggle and that’s okay! The struggle of being a stay at home mom is one many of us can relate to. Especially when the mini humans are demanding everything under the sun, the laundry is overflowing and you’re overwhelmed and can’t even get a bathroom break to yourself! I can go on and on.
It’s okay to miss yourself. Yes, it’s also okay to take some time for you. Cabin fever is real. Get out of the house, alone. Take time for some self-care. Mamas, paint your nails, take a bath, put on a mask, do something that fills your cup because you deserve it.
Begin a New Hobby.
Some other things I began doing to help my struggles was going to therapy and creating time for myself. I also found a hobby. Time to not just be mom or wife, just me was just what I needed. This was my time to breathe. (Without a toddler crying because I breathed in the wrong direction.)
To break the struggle of the SAHM blues you have to create your own space of freedom.
Being a mom is a very important job, but taking care of yourself is just as important. I realized that if mom wasn’t well everything went downhill. A stay at home mom’s job is never-ending. It can be draining, for sure, but you can do it. You’ve got this mama!
Take some time to breathe, find a hobby and find a good group of mommy friends. Don’t be afraid to try some new things and enjoy this time with your babies. Children certainly grow fast and change quickly. You’ll miss these times of your lovely tots and children. Have fun!
Embrace the madness of motherhood!