The Guilt


I truly wish that someone would have warned me about the guilt that comes with motherhood.  When they are babies it’s what you are or aren’t feeding them.  Are they breastfed or were they given formula?  The preschool years come with where they are attending preschool.  Kindergarten nears with the question of if they should be sent or should they be held back?  So once kindergarten enrollment is finished the guilt regarding the correct choices should end, right?

How do they make it look so easy?

School begins and their academic path lies ahead.  Are they reading enough?  Should they be reading more?  Where did we put the flash cards?  I remember driving myself crazy with questions like this every night.  Life is complicated enough for us as parents but add the constant parenting guilt that creeps in and it all just seems so overwhelming.  Should I have stayed home tonight to make sure the flashcards and the reading chart box were checked?  The girls would understand if I canceled on girl’s night, right?  But how do these others moms make this all look so easy?  And so enters more guilt and thankfully a big dose of reality.

Sometimes okay is perfect

Sometimes doses of reality have a great way of stopping us in our tracks and giving time to re-evaluate.  And re-evaluation is what I did.  Instead of working so hard to do what I thought everyone else was doing I worked harder to do what I felt my crew needed.  At the end of the day what matters is that my children have what they need from me in the best way I can provide.  Is everyday and situation perfect, definitely not, but sometimes okay is perfect.  And by making myself more vulnerable to other mothers I learned many of those visions of perfection were nothing more than a mirage.  I still get pangs of guilt don’t get me wrong but I strive for more days of just being okay.


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Dee Haman
Dee is a single momma of three dynamic kiddos and lives outside of Lima, Ohio. Previously a stay at home momma, she recently jumped back into professional life as a physician assistant. Since life didn’t feel action packed enough, the addition of a goldendoodle named Barkley seems to have added a perfect touch to their organized chaos. She has a new found passion for helping women to make themselves a priority everyday. Five years ago she experienced a drastic life change which gave her the opportunity to make catastrophe into the learning experience of a lifetime. Now she’s ready to share this knowledge with all of you.


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