Infertility is hard. There is no sugar coating it. Last year I wrote an article for Toledo Moms talking about the struggles that we were going through conceiving a second child. At the time, we were a year in with no luck. Unfortunately, last year Covid also struck and closed down almost all doctor’s offices for months. It wasn’t until July or August that I was able to finally get into the OB for my yearly appt.
So a year and a half into our fertility struggles, I was finally able to get in for testing and fertility meds. It was a relief, but also nerve-wracking to start on different meds. I was freaked out about the increased likelihood of having multiples, the side effects I might experience, etc. It was obviously worth it since we went ahead with whatever meds and shots my doctor prescribed, but I was nervous.
A Positive Test
After 6 months or so of different fertility meds, we were blessed with a positive pregnancy test. I was over the moon. However, the excitement was almost getting overshadowed by nerves. This is something I don’t hear a lot about but is certainly valid and worth being discussed. Infertility, and everything that goes along with it, can really affect mental health. I already experience anxiety, so this certainly wasn’t going to help it.
Pregnancy Anxiety
My normal anxiety was exacerbated. Things like cramping that didn’t set me off with my first pregnancy for example had me calling the doctor. Nausea subsiding which is a huge relief normally had me wondering if something was wrong. I can’t imagine I’m alone in this. I think most women who have either experienced infertility or pregnancy loss must experience this to some degree. Heck, I was in the bathroom twice in the hour before the ultrasound happened at the doctor’s office because I was a nervous wreck.
After two OB visits, I’m finally starting to feel that everything is real and going to happen. I’m slowly losing the nerves that something is going to go wrong. My nerves and anxiety are now shifting to how my current only is going to react when a baby comes. Right now, she is NOT excited. However, that’s a different topic and a story for another day.
I know pregnancy announcements, and even articles like this can be a trigger. I myself had feelings of why isn’t this happening for me, and can definitely relate. You aren’t alone, and there are lots of other women going through it. I felt like two years of secondary infertility was an eternity, yet for many women, they try much longer than that. For those of you reading this who are still experiencing infertility, I pray that you get your wish of having a baby. If you need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out. Having a support system, and someone to vent to when dealing with infertility is the biggest piece of advice I can offer.
