Happy New Year Mamas! So happy you’re all here and survived the holiday season and the January hustle. I’ve done a ton of reflecting on 2019, and I can’t believe how much transformation I have done since my son was born in 2018 (I’m sure you all can relate). Becoming a mom is a kind of birth in and of itself. I have begun to take a good, hard look at myself: how to be a better person, how to be more intentional with my time, and how to be true to myself. This journey brought me to the enneagram test – I strongly encourage any and all of you to take it as well! You can find it here: Enneagram and Motherhood.
In this journey, I found that I am a Type Nine – which is also known as The Peacemaker (here’s looking at you, mamas of toddlers). Type Nines are pretty much “mothers” in everyday life, personally and professionally; it’s easy to lose ourselves, fold to please others and fake it sometimes to make others comfortable. We are the chameleons of the world and that is NOT always a good thing. Good characteristics of Type Nine mothers are perceptiveness, empathy and having a great understanding of their children. Opportunities for Type Nine mothers to grow is in the area of discipline. This observation totally resonated with me because I always find disciplining my son to be extremely tough. I always lean towards peace which makes it hard for me to say no and follow-through (dear lord, help me to not raise a bad kid). I’m resolving here and now, with all of you as my witness, to create a more grounding and supportive environment for my son, one that I actually stick to. It’s unfair for me to rely on my husband (a Type Three) to do all of the disciplining.
I suppose this can be a self-care message for you, your partner, and your marriage. Look at yourself and find out what you truly NEED. Your needs are not a burden to others, as they so wisely say, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” But it’s true, I refuse to continue to dim my shine to make others comfortable. I think especially in motherhood, we have a tendency to let others bulldoze us with all of their opinions and the world is telling us that we need to do one thing but maybe our intuition says something else. Trust yourself. You are the best judge of what goes on in your family, be true to yourself. This is the best form of self-care that I can preach on for 2020.
With or without the enneagram test, take a look at yourself and what you need this year. Go on this journey with me put yourself and your family first. You got this mama, you’re amazing!