Not having it all figured out by age 30.


Here I am, thirty-ish days shy of turning 31 and my mind is at ease. Much more at ease than it was this time last year. Last year, you know when the Pandemic hit in March; the same time as I was turning Thirty and felt like my life was already ending let alone to add a pandemic on top of it. When in all reality it was just beginning. Don’t get me wrong 2020 was hard enough already when you’re dreading turning the BIG 3-0, but when the country shuts down as you’re trying to make the most out of this “awful” birthday, it tends to make things much more difficult. You can go from a let’s make this as fun as possible to can I just stay home on my couch with a bottle of wine?

Thirty, flirty and thriving right? Or maybe not?

I used to hold myself to an altered version of a timeline of how I expected my life to work out. Let’s be honest I haven’t done things the “proper way” from the very beginning. Yet, I still expected to have reached certain milestones by the time I turned 30. There I was, not married, still renting the same house Teagan and I moved into after her father and I separated, and still not fully doing what I wanted to be when I grow up as my career. More importantly than that, I wasn’t happy. I was dreading my birthday so much just because I had held myself to a certain standard that I was supposed to have everything all figured out at thirty.

Wow, was I wrong and I’m perfectly okay admitting that.

Now, I’m not saying that I didn’t get a few things in my timeline accomplished during my year of being 30, because I most certainly did. I also came to realize that it’s completely okay to not have everything figured out by the time you turn 30. Once you’re able to let go of the stigma you have in your mind for how things are supposed to be, the amount of weight lifted off of your shoulders is great.

I will say with everything that happened in the last year of turning 30, I’ve grown tremendously.

So now here I am, 30-ish days away from turning 31 and completely happy with where life is for my daughter and me. I AM finally doing what I want as my long-term career as my only job, other than contributing to Toledo Moms of course. We are still renting the same house that we’ve been in for the last 6 years, I’m still not married (perfectly happy that way) You know what though? That’s all completely okay, we are content. I have grown so much in the last year of bringing in my 30s, grown in my career, as a mother, as a woman, as a daughter, and as a friend. My soul is happier and my heart is mending.

Mamas, I’m just here to let you know, no matter what milestone birthday may be approaching that has you stressed or overwhelmed, just don’t let that ruin celebrating you! You deserve to celebrate yourself whenever you can but especially when you have an excuse to do so. Cheers to every birthday, but especially those more crucial ones; no matter where you may be on your timeline. Always remember that things will happen and fall into place no matter the order they come.

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Ashley Terry
Ashley was born and raised in Toledo, Ohio. Now residing on the edge of Toledo and Northwood, she’s a single mama to a beautiful daughter, Teagan (April 2012). Ashley is also a dog mama who would gladly take in multiple rescues if she could. Five years into this single Mama lifestyle, Ashley still feels like she’s getting into the swing of things. Working as a volunteer/part-time Firefighter/EMT and radio dispatcher allows her free range to determine her own schedule, but works well beyond full-time hours. Ashley allows Teagan to be involved in multiple activities or any sport that she desires. Sports and extracurricular activities are important to her family. Recently beginning a new journey of her own in her faith has also become a staple to raising Teagan. While building a career of her own, Ashley still tries to find time for the things she enjoys doing. Ashley loves working out and being active, hiking, and camping. Ashley is an avid sports fan professional, college, or hometown whether it be football, baseball, or hockey. Having never been on a plane prior to her 26th birthday, Ashley tries to scratch the traveling itch as often as possible. Colorado, Florida, and the Carolinas are a few of her favorite places to visit. Ashley, Teagan, and the puppies are looking forward to the new adventures that this wonderful life will give them. She has a big heart, is always up for whatever comes her way with open arms and loves a good challenge.


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